Discipline ④
Siwei Liangfang — the two sides of every meeting思维两方应机接引
Meeting each person where they are · 应机接引
In his words原话
“Where one mind meets another, it is a relation between two standpoints.”trans.
「心与心的界面，是格位与格位的关系」
— Danjue · 翰澜五功
“What matters is not what you say, but … what the other person gets to hear.”trans.
「关注的不是自己说什么，而是……要让对方听到什么」
— Danjue · 对话集锦
In plain words白话
Plain words · editor’s note
Every meeting between people is a meeting of two standpoints. You speak from yours; they listen from theirs. So what matters is not “am I right?” but what the other person can hear right now.
人和人之间的每一次相遇，都是两个格位的相遇。你在你的位置上说，他在他的位置上听。所以要紧的不是“我说得对不对”，而是对方此刻能听到什么。
Try it试一试
Before your next attempt to make a point, ask: where is the other person standing right now?
Exercise designed by the editorNot to be confused with常见误解
This is not a persuasion technique, nor people-pleasing.